National Beer Lovers Day CAH Celebration

I’m usually too drunk to notice stuff like this, but National Beer Lovers Day is September 7. It’s a day for hipsters that brew their own craft beer to go out and order beers as if they are ordering fine wine. I think they’re called millennials.

I’ve done an exhaustive search on the internet for 45 seconds and it doesn’t say I can’t celebrate by drinking a Miller 64 in the shower or having a Horrible Party. Sorry millennials, but you’re not familiar enough with the beer economy to understand how essential beer is in my plan to achieve world peace. You definitely will not read about that in a book either, so let’s not get all intellectual about it.

If we were going to read a book it would say that the taste of beer releases a chemical in the brain which makes people want to drink more. FUCK YES IT DOES! At last, something worthwhile has come from science. I knew all that reading would pay off someday.

Enough science, back to the beer. Let’s meet for a night of synchronized drinking and an uncoordinated game of Cards Against Humanity. We will celebrate at the Horrible Clubhouse. I’m pretty drunk right now, but I believe beers are $3 for domestic and $4 for imported. The bar is CASH ONLY, but there is an ATM. It's okay, we already know you're poor.

Please bring a snack to share, this is a potluck style meetup and drunks like you guys definitely need food. You won’t have to buy dinner but you’re probably not getting laid either. It’s called balance. BEER ME!