Not the Fathers Day

If you have money in your wallet, you’re probably not a father. We all long to hear those five special words from that special someone: “You are NOT the father!” But Jerry giveth and Jerry taketh away so let’s be pretty fucking thankful the test is negative because 36 is definitely too young to become a parent. And lets face it: you’re not exactly made up of superior genes, either. Just remind every kid you meet that you are not a role model and stay out of the gene pool.

Father’s Day is also hurtful towards another group of not fathers: the fatherless. Statistically, 119% of us were raised by strong single moms and don’t even know who our dads are. I’m talking to you, ladies!

We will celebrate by playing Cards Against Humanity in our NEW Private Clubhouse on Desert Inn & Valley View. We have a full bar, a lady bartender and the entire bar to ourselves. Please buy a drink and tip the bartender, drinks are reasonably priced and we get the space for free so let’s not be assholes about it. There is no kitchen, but please bring a food item to share.

Also, say happy Birthday to Wesley or whatever and tell him his dad jokes are inappropriate and uncalled for.