Birthday, Dive-aversary & Slushy Celebration
If you don't want to come because you're single, please be informed that my parties are so fun that they have resulted in three(3) marriages.
Don't-Do-Anything December has come to an end and our birthdays are upon us. Here in the 5th season of 2020 we will continue to ignore our inability to mature into responsible adults!
For example, Sean has purchased a slushy machine and I plan on infusing it with an essential oil for wellness (tequila). And we would like you to join us for a birthday/ dive-aversary/ slushy machine celebration under the sea.
You probably don't know this about me, but before diving I spent all of my disposable income on Cards Against Humanity. I have a huge deck. We will be playing Cards Against Humanity (Rated R) DIVE EDITION and drinking margaritas.
If you have never played Cards Against Humanity before, prepare to be offended. It is very easy to learn the game but you should probably google it if you don't like a good time.
There is no need to bring gifts. We have too much stuff and realize that being born was 100% unnecessary. Also, if Sean acquires one more stupid kitchen gadget I will start hitting him again. He's already considering the purchase of a second slushy machine....
If you would like to bring a (completely optional) gift, we practice "spite elephant" for every occasion. That means horrible presents only. Make sure we hate it, but wrap it in a beautiful package.
We will have adult card games, adult beverages and food. If you think our catering might suck then you are invited to bring your own snacks or whatever you want to drink if you are particular.
Disclaimer: If you don't want to come because you're single, please be informed that my parties are so fun that they have resulted in three(3) marriages. I am deeply ashamed of this fact yet I continue to throw these parties because I REALLY like getting drunk at other peoples weddings.